


Desperate Measures

by MoonlightShines (Thatkillervibe)



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Joe is above this, Scheming, meetings, oblivious idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-01-02 04:49:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21155891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatkillervibe/pseuds/MoonlightShines
Summary: Ralph organizes weekly meetings with Team Flash to tackle Star Lab's biggest feat: Setting up two oblivious best friends who are perfect for each other.





	1. How To Get Cisco and Caitlin To Date Each Other

**Author's Note:**

> I sat down to write the fairy fic and then this happened.

Ralph twisted the knob and locked the door behind himself. Leaning against it, he crossed his arms and surveyed the room. 

  
“Is everybody in attendance?” 

Barry raised his eyebrows silently from his lazy sprawl on the couch in the lounge as if to say, _ yeah, duh. _

Ralph nodded, pleased. “We all know why we’re gathered here today.” 

“Sounds like the beginning of a wedding,” Iris commented dryly without looking up from her phone. She had her feet in Barry’s lap, multitasking. While she was all for the cause, she refused to leave the Central City Citizen office unless she was promised she could also work on her latest article. 

“Well, isn’t that the endgame?” Sue asked. 

Ralph grinned at her appreciatively. “That’s the plan!” He uncapped the whiteboard marker and began to print out the meeting’s name in bold Dibny-esque print: ‘HOW TO GET CISCO AND CAITLIN MARRIED.'

“To _ each other_,” Barry clarified.

It was true, they’ve tried this before only for one or the other to end up dating somebody else, misunderstanding their attempts to set them up. Ralph was guilty of that with Cisco a shameful amount of times. It was a good thing those relationships never stuck. 

He added on Barry’s suggestion so that it now read ‘HOW TO GET CISCO AND CAITLIN MARRIED TO EACH OTHER.’

Iris looked up at a particularly bad squeak when Ralph underlined the sentence. “Isn’t that a bit too ambitious?” 

“I don’t think so,” Barry argued. 

Cecile bit her lip. “Maybe a tad.” 

Ralph crossed out the ‘MARRIED’ and replaced it with ‘TO DATE’. 

“So. Any ideas?” 

Sue glanced at the stack of abandoned scrapbooks on the kitchen counter. “How about the Book of Ralph?” 


	2. The Book of Ralph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #1 'THE BOOK OF RALPH'

“The Book of Ralph?” Iris repeated wearily. She grimaced. “When has that ever helped anybody?”

“Way harsh, West-Allen!” said Sue, who got up from her chair to wrap her arm around her boyfriend’s waist. “It worked for me.” She reached up on her tiptoes to bop Ralph’s nose. “I love you and your Book.”

Ralph went red behind the ears, taking her compliment to heart. “If Sue thinks it’s a good enough idea, then it is.”

It went silent, Iris, Cecile and Barry staring at the couple with matched skeptical faces. 

“Oh!” said Barry when the obvious disagreement between the Wests-and-Allens and Dibny-and-Dearbon got too noticeable to ignore.

His voice raised an octave as he lifted up to flash his phone screen at them. “Joe is calling me, he wants to speak to Cecile and Iris.” Without letting Ralph or Sue get so much as a word in, the three got moving. Iris lifted her legs from her husband’s lap pillow to lead them down the hall. 

There was no call from Joe. 

Barry leaned forward in their group huddle. “Look, if we don’t just let them try it, they’ll never shut up. Best to get it out of the way.” 

“Agreed.” 

Cecile raked her hand through her permed hair. “Okay, so do we sit out on this one?”

Barry shrugged. 

“We let them take the lead, watch it fail, then sweep in with a better plan. Give it a day, tops.” 

"What's the better plan?" 

A cunning smile found its way on Iris' face. "Leave that to me." 

They all nodded, content with their game plan, and single filed back into the lounge. Cecile immediately went to the kitchen in search for tea. The Book of Ralph always gave her headaches. And she read administrative subpoena. 

“Fine Ralph. We’ll do it your way.” 

Ralph beamed as Sue flipped through the sacred Ralph texts, already writing up important page numbers on the whiteboard. 

~.~

Cisco stared at the big scrapbook on his workshop desk and pinched the bridge of his nose. He yelled Ralph’s name, loud enough to be heard from the Cortex. 

Ralph, sitting in a chair while slurping on a smoothie, ignored Cisco with a wink at Sue, who had taken a day off work just to watch this happen. “The plan is set in motion.” 

_ “Ralph!” _

He got up leisurely, sticking his hands in his pockets and whistled. When he got to Cisco’s workshop, Cisco was glaring at him, unimpressed. 

“You called, buddy boy?”

Cisco gestured wildly at the intruder sitting all over his gadgets. “Can you pick up after yourself!?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No, I left that for you. Thought you might want to see it.”

Cisco frowned, asking why, but Ralph decided less was more, and didn’t give him a clear answer. "You'll know it when you see it." 

  
Later that evening, as Ralph cleaned up his PI office, he found the Book Of Ralph back on his desk. A blue stick-it note was placed on top of it. 

_ Fixed the scientific inaccuracies in your rulebook. BTW: It was called the Speedforce Bazooka. Not the Speedforce _ Babushka_. _\--Cisco. 

Ralph groaned, tucking the thick anthology under his armpit as he grabbed his satchel and left for home. He’d have to brief the team. 

~.~ 

‘THE BOOK OF RALPH’ was boldly crossed out by Ralph’s red whiteboard marker. 

“Cisco ignored my _ 52 Step Guide to Ask Your Best Friend Out! _ I spent a good afternoon making that to tailor Caitlin’s personality!” 

Cecile, Iris and Barry pretended to be shocked. 

Sue was in denial, flipping through the pages like a frantic librarian, her glasses sliding down the bridge of her nose. “What page did you leave it on, babe?”

_ “ _Page 521. The newest entry.” 

_ “ _I can’t find it?” 

Ralph crossed his arms impatiently. “Sue. It’s in there.” 

“I don’t see it.” 

Iris shared a look with Barry, pretending to yawn. Cecile stifled her snort over her Facetime call at CCPD. 

“Oh! _ Oh. _ Oh Ralph. Come on. No wonder Cisco didn’t see it.” She pointed at the page number in question, stuck together with three other sheets of paper, collated as if smeared with glue. Sue gave a careful tug as she tried to separate them.

  
  
“Don’t rip it!” 

Too late. 

Iris leaned over to assess the damage. She ran her finger against the yellow stains. “That looks like honey mustard.” 

Barry buried his head in his hands. 

Ralph had at least the decency to look embarrassed. “I was eating a sandwich.” 

Iris sighed. This was a waste of her time. “So now the list is ruined and Cisco will never see it. Oh well. Onto the next plan.” 

“And what’s that?” Cecile said over the intercom from the connected video call. 

“I’m glad you asked.” Iris went for her bag. “I know Ralph and Sue really are attached to The Book Of Ralph getting Cisco and Caitlin together, but that just ain’t it.” She pulled out a familiar brown spiral bound notebook. 

_ “This _ is.”

“_No,_” Barry gasped, delighted. His eyes widened, surprised he hadn’t thought of that sooner. 

“A diary?” asked Sue. 

“Better,” Barry said, catching quick. He sped to his wife, snatching their daughter’s book from her hands and raised it like baby Simba in The Lion King. _ “Evidence.” _

Cecile sucked in a breath when Barry turned to get in the vantage point of Iris' phone camera. The photograph of Cisco and Caitlin’s heads tipped together from the West-Allen housewarming party took up Cecile's entire screen. “Nora’s journal!” 


	3. Nora's Notebook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #2 'NORA'S NOTEBOOK'

‘NORA’s NOTEBOOK’ was written over the place ‘THE BOOK OF RALPH’ used to be. 

  


Nora’s notebook has potential. They all thought so at least, staring down at the adorable picture of Cisco and Caitlin in it. 

  


“How exactly are we going to use this?” 

“Easy,” said Iris. She slid the book across the counter towards Sue. “What does this look like.” 

Sue picked up the leather journal, considering the open page carefully. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, fitting it back in place of her perfect mid-length bob. “Hmm.” She squinted, tilting it sideways at a different angle for a new perspective. “Looks promising.” 

Ralph tucked his chin over her shoulder from behind, peering down at the photographs. “I love that colour on Caitlin. I think velvet has gone back in style.” 

“Right?” Barry enthused, ignoring Ralph’s fashion commentary. “It’s indisputable.” 

“Well—”

“Proof in the pudding!” he continued, accidentally talking over Iris in his excitement. “Why would Nora have this picture of the two of them together like this if not for the obvious fact that Nora understood them as a package deal, a duo, two partners?” 

“...In crime?” Sue finished with a giggle. 

“The opposite, really.” 

“Well,” said Iris. 

Barry turned to listen with a hand on hip. “Well what?” 

“I wouldn’t say it’s indisputable.” 

“But it was your idea!” Cecile argued from over the FaceTime call. There was some shuffling and a door click from her side. Only Sue seemed to notice the call disconnected.

“I think it’s a good conversation starter,” Iris explained. “Not the end all be all.” 

“You wanna bet?”

“Really?”

Barry took Iris’ hand, dragging her to the Time Vault. This room was no longer quite so scary, what with the Crisis on Infinite Earths averted, but it still brought goosebumps to Iris’ skin all the same. Barry activated Gideon, asking her to pull up the original record of the iconic newspaper penned by Iris-West Allen. 

“See?” 

Iris took a step toward the hologram, reading it closely, but couldn’t find anything strikingly obvious she was supposed to understand. “No. I think you’re thinking in speed again.” 

Barry rolled his eyes fondly, pointing at the byline. “What is that?” 

“My name?” 

“No!” He began to gesture wildly, still holding onto Nora’s notebook at the Cisco and Caitlin page. Iris lunged forward to snatch it from his grasp, holding it close to her chest. Barry was too animated to consider its delicacy. “This is the catalyst of your conception of our future!” 

“What.” 

“It was proof! It was what made you think about me, about us. This was the moment, the words on paper, that got the gears turning in your head about the importance of our relationship. What started the trajectory of Iris West to Iris West-Allen.” Barry pointed hard at the hologram, his finger going right through the projection. “This was the evidence, the concrete proof that we would be together. That we would be married. And we are!” 

Iris couldn’t help but smile. “You think that Nora’s Notebook will be Cisco and Caitlin’s Crisis newspaper.”

“Yes! Exactly. Isn’t it?” 

Iris took his hand, lacing their fingers together. She glanced at the XS jacket, still proudly on display. “I think it’s a start. But Nora left us, and we've already agreed, when the time comes, to not name our baby after her. I don’t think its determinant of today’s future. I thought it more as a smart tool we could use to get them thinking about how they see each other. You’re putting a lot of faith in a photograph from an event three years ago.” 

Ralph and Sue peered in from the hall, shameless about their eavesdropping. 

“He’s putting a lot of faith in Cisco and Caitlin,” Ralph corrected. 

Sue was the one with the important question. “Do they even know this exists?”

~.~ 

“Hey,” Barry said to Caitlin after they were seated at Jitters. He told her he wanted to speak to her alone after their patrols that night. It was late, the coffee shop nearly empty. Their steaming drinks cooled as they settled in. 

Caitlin raised an amused eyebrow, already noticing Barry’s restlessness. “Hey back. Something on your mind?” 

“Yeah,” he said. “Nora.” 

Caitlin’s smile disappeared. “Oh...Do you want to talk about her?”

He shot her nervous smile. “Would you mind?” 

“Of course not.” She reached for her coffee as Barry pulled Nora’s notebook from his coat pocket. 

He recited a loosely scripted monologue about how he’s been thinking about the future Nora lived in, pre-Crisis, and just Nora in general now that he and Iris were trying for children.

He practiced it on Sue, who pretended to be Caitlin, butchering her mannerisms until even Ralph got fed up and morphed into her image to more realistically portray her. After an hour or so, they felt he could get it down, successfully hitting all his key points while sounding natural.

He felt a little bad, playing up the Nora sob story for sympathy. But he felt that it was necessary to open Caitlin to the possibilities of his ulterior motives. It was for the better good. Besides, Barry was very convinced Nora would want him to do this. 

“...So I can’t help but wonder why she had this picture.” 

Barry slid the book across the table, finally now able to sip his latte. He watched her intently as she ran her hand over the film. She didn’t seem particularly surprised. “Oh, I love this one.” She met his eyes easily, to explain, “I have it at home too. It’s so nice that she found pictures of your housewarming party.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Look at it!” She turned the journal to face his direction, flipping the page to the one before. “It’s a timeline of your relationship with Iris going backwards, from what Nora knows best as being your child with documentation, to what she knew of the least."

Barry was lost. “What?” 

“See here.” She tapped her manicured nails over the picture of Joe and Cecile. “This is from her grandparents’ engagement. It happened most recently, that’s why it’s to the left of your wedding photograph. Then, there’s the picture of you with Joe, from after your engagement, then us at your housewarming party, and finally, it begins with that shot from when you two were young adults. She was documenting the progression from friends to partners to fiances to spouses. Nora really wanted to get it all right.” 

Barry blinked. “Uh. No.” 

Caitlin frowned. “No?” 

“This isn’t about me and Iris,” he stressed, returning to the evidence. “This is about you and Cisco.” 

She didn’t get it and it was painful. “How is the notebook about your daughter about me and Cisco?” 

“Because she’s from the future! Doesn’t this say something?!”

Caitlin eyeballed him as she took another dainty sip. “About?” 

“Your future? Your future with Cisco?! Nora could have inserted any random photograph of you and Cisco, individually and yet she chose this one. And isn’t it weird that we’re positioned in parallel? And that all of these other pictures are of married couples!” 

“That one has Wally in it.” 

“Who is now related to me. Via my _ marriage.” _

  
  
“And this isn’t a wedding picture. It’s from a past event. She put us there because she wanted to learn more about you, and we’re your closest friends, Barry.” Caitlin put a strong emphasis on the next part. _ “Just friends.” _

“Ralph’s not in it,” Barry argued stubbornly, remembering the script. “And he’s now one of us. Isn’t it mean that Nora wouldn’t include him unless it was because in the future she knew where I disappeared, Sue was never found? Thusly, this is in fact an accumulation of couples she’d have met before she time traveled.” He grinned, slapping his hand against the table as he ended. It was a powerful conclusion. Impossible to refute. 

Caitlin stared at him. 

“What?” 

“You told me that you wanted to talk about something important.” 

“This is important!” 

“How so? I don’t see how talking about an erased timeline is,” she softened her voice at the fact, knowing Nora’s disappearance still was and forever will be sensitive. “Crisis was averted, and this Nora may not even exist. How then, does this support what you’re saying?” 

Barry’s voice went meek. “The notebook is resistant to fluctuations in timelines. It must still be here for a reason. It still has to hold some truths!”

“It holds memories,” Caitlin said, reaching forward to pat his arm, misinterpreting the emergence of his frustrated tears. “And that’s so important to you two. I know that. But the information it holds about the rest of us should may as well be forgotten.” 

“But it’s proof that you two—” 

Caitlin retreated her hand, and huffed. “Enough with that. This is conspiratorial and I’m too tired to entertain it.” Caitlin pushed her chair back and stood up. “Goodnight Barry.” 

He scoffed, indignant. Nora’s notebook was no_ conspiracy. _ “Caitlin, wait!” 

She didn’t wait though, pushing open the door of Jitters and walking out into the night. Barry sighed and took a big sip of his latte, then pulled a disgruntled face.

Just like this lead, it went cold. 

~.~ 

“I don’t want to say I told you so. But I told you so.” Iris uncapped the marker to slash an X through ‘NORA’S NOTEBOOK.’

“She’s being stubborn. They’re both being stubborn,” Barry lamented, pacing around the room of the lounge. They only managed to all congregate to discuss the outcomes of plan #2 a week later, due to the minor alien invasion. 

Kara, still in her Supergirl suit, raised her hand. 

They all looked at her with varying endearment. 

“This isn’t that kind of meeting, Special K,” Sue explained, lowering her hand. 

“Oh,” said Kara, embarrassed. “Sorry. I was just wanting to ask. How did Cisco respond?” 

Ralph let out a groan. 

“He roasted us like chicken,” said Iris, rolling her eyes. Kara and Sue appeared very confused. 

They began to explain. 

~.~ 

Footsteps echoed down the hall. 

“Quick,” said Iris. “He’s coming back from Big Belly Burger.” 

She opened the notebook and pretended to laugh. “Look at this one!” she exclaimed loudly, pointing at the picture of herself with Barry from college. “I was so young.” 

Ralph followed her lead just as Cisco turned the corner. “Yeah! You two were sweet. But it can’t rival this one! It’s adorable.” 

“I know! They look so happy together! It’s the perfect picture.” 

  


“What is,” Cisco asked. He was bored and had nobody to talk to after Barry whisked Caitlin away for some mysterious conversation. He leaned over their desks and spotted the picture. 

“Aw,” Cisco said. “Cute. I remember I made Julian take that photo.” He barked out a laugh. “I think that made him mad.” 

“I’m surprised she has this picture,” Iris said casually. “What do you think, Ralph?” 

“Seeing how she was from the future and all, it’s rather suggestive,” he agreed. 

“...You don’t find the strategic placement of the photograph interesting?” Iris probed, turning to Cisco. 

Cisco made a face. “Yeah, I do.” 

“You do?” repeated Ralph, trying to hide his excitement. 

“Sure,” said Cisco. “Feel like we’d fit better on the left side. Should’ve swapped places.” 

Iris couldn’t believe her ears, her mind blanking at her utter disbelief of Cisco’s obliviousness. She could hear the_ swoosh _ of her implication flying over his head. 

“That’s not what I meant!” 

“Anything else weird about it?” Ralph tried as Iris spluttered. He flipped it to Iris and Barry’s wedding picture, then back to the one of the two of them together. Back and forth. Back and forth. Trying to make a visible comparison. 

“....No? Why are you looking at the notebook anyway?” 

“Because Nora knew stuff. We were wondering if any of the material here were prophetic to post-Crisis.” 

“Ah,” Cisco said, losing interest. “Well that’s a waste of time.” He made way to his monitors, shutting down the systems for the night. 

  


“Why?” Ralph demanded, and Iris had to put a hand on his knee to warn him from getting too agitated. “Nora had a picture of Cecile and Joe from their engagement before it actually happened.” 

“She also said we lost chickens in Crisis.” He raised his bag of Big Belly Burger chicken nuggets. 

Ralph shared a defeated look with Iris. "Oh yeah.” 

  


~.~ 

“Oh no,” said Kara. 

“Oh no is right,” said Sue. 

Iris didn’t look too heartbroken because she won the bet. 

“Where’s Cecile?” Barry wondered aloud, realizing there was a member missing. 

“She’s busy.” 

“Too busy to help use her powers to persuade Cisco and Caitlin that they like each other?” Ralph complained. “I thought she knew how important this is.” 

“She does,” Iris soothed. “But she’s also trying to defend fifty innocent aliens after that attack. There are priorities here.” 

“This is a priority!” Ralph stressed. “Cecile is the only one who can straight up tell them how they’re feeling when they’re close to each other.” 

“Yeah,” Sue said glumly. “Oh well, we’d have to try to come up with something else in the meantime. Any ideas?” 

Someone cleared their throat. It was Kara. “Maybe I can help?”


	4. Supergirl (Because She's They're Favourite Kryptonian)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #3 SUPERGIRL (BECAUSE SHE'S THEY'RE FAVOURITE KRYPTONIAN)

“Have you tried talking to them?” Supergirl asked kindly.

Team Flash blinked at her, insulted that she could tear them apart and serve them on a platter with the innocence of a well-intended question. 

“Why would we do that?” Sue frowned.

It was Kara’s turn to gape. “Well—!” She gestured with her hands in a circular motion. “All I see are attempts at trying to get them to date, but we haven’t even yet heard a confession of love by either of them. That’s important!”

Ralph looked unconvinced. “Is it?” 

“You’re setting them up, right?”

“...Right,” said Iris.

“Why?”

“They’re in love!”

“Because they’re perfect for each other!”

“Because I can’t stand this anymore!” Barry hollered over the others. 

Kara gave Iris a look. “Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we got confirmation that they _do _love each other?”

“That would pointless,” argued Ralph. “We all know the answer. They’re just blind.”

“But neither have explicitly said they have feelings.”

“Okay, what is this?!” Barry cried, outraged. He zoomed over, crossing his arms over his chest with absolute disappointment. “I thought you said you wanted this to happen!”

  
“I do!” she insisted. “I do! Of course, I think Cisco and Caitlin would be perfect together, that’s a no brainer. I just want it to be genuine, and I don’t feel comfortable supporting this undercover operation if we’re forcing feelings onto them that aren’t even there.”

“Why don’t you feel comfortable?” asked Sue.

Kara skimmed over the list of ideas Team Flash has come up with over the last few weeks, then raised a single eyebrow as she read them out loud. “Half of these suggestions could accidentally screw the multiverse. That’s why.”

“I see,” said Barry. In his excitement to get his friends together, he had overlooked that concern.

Ralph rolled his eyes. “Oh, you want confirmation? I’ll give you confirmation, girl.” Ralph whipped out his phone, “I’ll confirm it right now—“

Kara’s eyes flashed red, burning lasers into Ralph’s Android. _“No!”_

He dropped it like a hot cake, and it smoked up on the ground. “Hey!”

“No offence,” she said. “But that would be the worst way possible to get an honest answer. Especially by you, Ralph.”

_“Hey!” _

Kara cringed apologetically. “I’m sorry, but it’s true!” She nudged the phone with the toe of her boot. “I didn’t mean to fry your phone.”

Barry waved a hand dismissively. “Gideon’s already processed the request to send a new one.”

Kara looked relieved. “Okay. I know I don’t live on this earth, but that phone looked like it needed an upgrade.”

Sue snorted loudly behind her hands covering over her mouth. She nearly fell off the kitchen counter, leaning to the side as she giggled at the way her boyfriend seemed to tax Supergirl’s patience. “Can we keep her?”

Iris clapped her hands. “Can we focus on the agenda of this meeting? We can talk tech with Cisco _after_ he settles down.”

Kara was determined, already walking out of the lounge with her shoulders rolled back. “I got this.” 

“How?” Sue called after her, confused. 

  
Kara turned her head over her shoulder, her long hair swishing dazzlingly. “Easy. I’m going to talk to them.” 

~.~ 

Kara made her way down the stairs to the first floor, finding Cisco and Caitlin chatting in the Cortex. Caitlin was at her own monitor as Cisco sat on her desk, relaxed. His Vibe goggles were perched on top of his head, and Caitlin was still in her Frost suit. 

“Hey you two!” 

Caitlin gave her a warm smile. “Kara, hi.”   
  
Cisco waved. “Loving the pants, Special K.” 

Kara winked. “Thanks Cisco. I wanted to ask you something actually, it’s about my breach device tech.” Kara made a big show of searching her pockets. “I think I lost it in the fight.” 

Cisco hopped down from Caitlin’s desk. “No biggie, I’ll whip you up another one in three secs.” 

She followed him down the hall to his workshop, smiling sheepishly at Caitlin before she left her in the room alone.

Cisco started humming engineering talk to himself immediately, and Kara walked around his workshop, picking up little gadgets and spare knickknacks. “So this is your genius room.”   
  


“Ha,” Cisco said. “I knew you were my favourite alien.” 

Kara took the opportunity as it presented itself. “Am I?” she asked lightly, pressed her back against the table beside him, folding her arms behind. 

He shot her a conspiratorial grin. “Of course. We never got the chance to catch up in all the madness downtown. How are you?” 

Kara tried not to smirk to herself as Cisco fell for her bait. She caught him up on her life, and what she’s been working on recently, making sure to give lots of exaggerated details about her singleness. He hummed and sighed at all the right moments, listening to her as he fiddled around with his small tools.

“What about you?” she prompted. “Looking for love?”

Cisco laughed dryly, shaking his head. “Not exactly.”

“Why not!? Cisco you’re such a catch. Any girl here should be trying to get in line to date you.”

Cisco blushed, acting like her words weren’t affecting him. “Pshhh.”

“I’m serious,” she said. “Besides, I always thought…” Kara trailed off and glanced to the side. “Oh, never mind.”

Cisco actually stopped what he was doing. “What?”

“It’s nothing. It’s fine.”

Cisco spun around in his chair, looking annoyed. “Caitlin told me a girl never ever means that when she says it.” 

Kara laughed, raising her hands in mock defeat. “Okay! Okay,” she huffed. “Just don’t get mad at me for saying it.”

He pointed at her suit. “Favourite alien, remember?”

“Right,” she said. “Well, I sort of always thought you’ve been in love with someone else. And that’s why you don’t really date.”

Cisco frowned. “I date. Ish.”

  
But he did not say he was not in love.

“Yeaaaaaah,” she teased, poking his shoulder. “But you’re in love with someone, aren’t you?”

Cisco sighed. “Listen, Special K. Kara. I’m not in love with anyone. I don't know where you got the idea.”

“No?”

“…No.”

“Are you sure?”

He gave her a weird look. “Yes?”

Kara tried her best not to deflate. “What about Caitlin?”

Cisco returned to his desk, finishing up final touches to the device.

“What about her?” he said slowly. “Caitlin’s not in love with anyone either. She hasn’t dated since Frost appeared.” He twirled around in his chair again, handing her the breach tech. “Here you go, one red hot interpolator for Supergirl!”

Cisco did not understand her implication and it pained her to try and clarify. She took it and plastered on a thankful grin. “You’re the best.”

He saluted, “I do what I can.”

Just as Kara left the room, she heard him call over. “Can you ask Caitlin to come here? She left her pizza pockets here in that grocery bag before the battle. They're going to thaw.”

“Sure!” Kara dropped the new tech into her pocket next to her old one. The one she never lost. She clenched her fists together, and gritted her teeth. Barry was right. This was infuriating.

~.~

“Hey Caitlin,” Kara said when she returned to the Cortex. “Cisco wants you to collect your pizza pockets.”

“Oh thanks. I’ll go now and put them in the fridge in the lounge.”

Kara nearly had a heart attack. “Wait! Don’t!”

Caitlin frowned. “…Why not?”

Because Team Flash were currently having their top secret meeting with the words SUPERGIRL scrawled all over the whiteboard next to ‘HOW TO GET CISCO AND CAITLIN TO DATE EACH OTHER’ in Ralph’s all caps there and were depending on Kara to get plan three to work, damnit, but how could she simply phrase that without combusting into a raging soliloquy about why Caitlin needed to get over there into Cisco’s workshop, forget about the stupid pizza pockets and kiss the obtuse loveable idiot.   


Painful. This was. _Painful. _

Kara grimaced. “…Because I want to have a girl chat?”

~.~

“I don’t understand,” Kara mumbled to herself. “That always works. It always works. People like to talk to me!” 

Iris rubbed Kara’s shoulder as they sat on the couch of the lounge. Downstairs, Cisco and Caitlin were sharing frozen foods.

Barry made himself a cup of coffee. “I mean, Caitlin did talk to you,” he reminded, as poured creamer into his mug. “About clothes.”

Sue made her way in from a business call she was taking in the hall. "Did I hear something about clothes?" 

Kara looked over her shoulder at Sue. “Every time I changed the topic to Cisco, Caitlin ended up gushing about the suit he made her.”

“Ah. Well, it’s a nice suit,” said Sue.

“Yeah,” Kara had to agree, but she didn’t feel any better. "But she was supposed to confess her love for _him_. Not for his _stitching._" She got up, brushing Iris’ comforting hand away. “I think I’m going to go.”

“What!?” cried Ralph. “But we need you!”

“And I need to punch something,” Kara muttered under her breath with a forlorn sigh. “Put me in the inter-dimensional group chat.”

With that, she was gone.

Ralph turned to Sue. “We’re down a member. Is Cecile free now?”

“Still helping the innocent aliens.”

“Darn.”

Barry sipped his coffee, considering. He seemed to be in a thinking mood. “Kara is earnest and is easy to talk to. But she doesn’t have the power we need for leverage.”

“…Supergirl doesn’t have _power?” _

“Not the emotional kind over Cisco and Caitlin. The sway we need. Like dirty details, you know? We need an authoritarian.”

“Dirty details?” Iris repeated.

"Authoritarian?!"

“Yeah, we need someone else here. Someone who can give us some answers.”

“Like who?” Ralph wanted to know, already uncapping his whiteboard marker. The suspense was killing him. Sue erased SUPERGIRL from off the board.

Barry took another sip, hiding his sly grin. “Caitlin’s mother.”


	5. Involve Caitlin's Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #4 INVOLVE CAITLIN'S MOTHER

Iris raised an eyebrow. “Like hell Dr. Tannhauser is going to drop everything and come to one of these meetings. She already thinks you’re a bunch of idiots.” 

“Yes,” Barry agreed. “But we’re_ Caitlin’s _ idiots. So she kind of has to listen to us.” 

She frowned. “Um.” 

“That’s right,” Ralph enthused as he wrote ‘INVOLVE CAITLIN’S MOTHER’ on the whiteboard. “Besides, Mama Snow isn’t actually that bad. We just need to convince her. Barry, draft an email.” 

“On it.” Barry hijacked Iris’ laptop to her protest, logging into his account. 

Sue grew awfully quiet. Ralph noticed. “What Sue? Not liking this idea?” 

  
  


“I don’t know. I never met Caitlin’s mother, but Cisco never seemed to be on great terms with her. Couldn’t this potentially backfire?” The women watched as Ralph began to pace, thinking of what to make Barry put into their email. They shared a look. 

“We could use another lady here to reduce the buffoonery,” Iris murmured into Sue’s ear. “I don’t like the way they bounce ideas off each other when they’re alone.”

Sue nodded in agreement. “You may be right about that.” 

_“Dear Mrs. Carla Snow,” _Ralph dictates. “Wait no.”

Iris scoffed. “You are_ not _on a first name basis with Caitlin’s mother. None of us are.” 

Ralph tried again. “_Dear Mrs. Tannhauser.” _

_ “Doctor Tannhauser,” _Barry corrected, starting to type. 

Ralph accepted Barry’s prompt, continuing as he paced the room. _ “Dear Doctor Tannhauser. How are you today? The weather is nice, don’t you think so? Lovely sweater weather—” _

“Skip the pleasantries, babe.” 

Ralph huffed. “I’m trying to get her feet wet before we throw her into the pool.” 

“What.” 

“What about, _ I hope you are doing well, _ and leave it at that?” Barry suggested, not taking no for an answer since he in fact, was the one at the keyboard. 

Iris groaned, smacking her head against the Island at the kitchen. 

_ “Dear Doctor Tannhauser. I hope you are doing well. I am reaching out to address a concern about your daughter. The members at Star Labs and I would love to speak to you about how to increase her wellness. We are sure you can agree you only want happiness for Caitlin, and so do we.” _

“That’s good, Ralph,” Sue encouraged, perking up from her initial second-hand embarrassment.

Ralph preened, passing by her to kiss her cheek. 

“Is that all?” Barry asked, fingers hovering over the keyboard in wait. 

“No, not yet.” Ralph cleared his throat. _ “We would like to request a Rendez-Vous here at the Star Labs Lounge, 4pm tomorrow afternoon.” _

“--How about an appointment?” Barry interrupted. 

Ralph glared. “You ruined my train of thought.” 

“Sorry.” 

Iris sighed. “Just call it a meeting. It’s a meeting. Not an appointment.” 

“And you should probably suggest another time in case we have to deal with a meta-attack within the next 24 hours.” 

“Right,” Barry agreed, writing some more. 

_ “And please, we ask you kindly to refrain mentioning this to Caitlin. It is in her best interest.” _

“Yeah, that will do it,” Iris said sarcastically, but the rest understood her comment as legitimate. 

“Great!” Barry said, reading off the final result. 

  
  


_ “Yours Truly—” _Ralph finished. 

_ “Sincerely—” _ Barry muttered. _“Iris West-Allen.” _

  
  


Iris jumped. “What!?” 

Barry grinned, very pleased with himself. “And send!” 

“Wait no!” she yelped. 

Ralph stretched his hand three feet to slap Barry a low-five.

Iris marched over, and yanked the laptop out of her husband’s lap. 

“Hey!” he whined. "Ow."   
  


_“Bartholomew Henry Allen! _Why’d you sign it with _ my _name?!" 

Barry shared a look with Ralph, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I wanted her to take it seriously!”  
  


“I’ve never even _ met _the woman,” Iris hissed. 

“Yeah, precisely,” Barry mumbled. “It’s like you said. She thinks the rest of us are idiots.” 

~.~ 

  
  
  


Carla sat on the couch with her ankles crossed, in a suit that looked more expensive than the entire cost of renovations to the lounge itself. She looked unimpressed. But she was here, and hasn’t left yet, and that counted for something. “You made it sound like Caitlin needed an intervention.” 

“She does!” Barry snapped. 

Iris tried to mediate. “What my husband means, is that we all love Caitlin, and we feel she is in need of some encouragement for her to seek love.” 

Carla pursed her lips. “Are you suggesting my daughter’s worth, success and personal fulfilment is dependent on her marital status?” 

_ “No.” _

_ “ _ This isn’t about Caitlin’s marital status,” Ralph cuts in. He glanced at his notepad with his jotted down ideas. Then thought about what was written on the whiteboard. It wasn’t on the right side at this moment. Iris made him flip it to the blank side because _ it’s a little aggressive, is all, Ralph. _And so what if the meeting was originally named HOW TO GET CISCO AND CAILTIN MARRIED? They did compromise that dating will do just as fine. 

“Yeah,” Barry agreed. “It’s about her refusal to accept the obvious.” 

“And that is?” Carla drawled, bored. 

“That she is in love with Cisco. And that Cisco is in love with her.” 

“Ah.” 

_ “Ah?” _Iris repeated. “You don’t sound so surprised.” 

“I may be distant, and do not care to spend my entire day sitting around in Star Labs and calling it excellent employment in technological research as you do, but that does not mean I don’t know full well Francisco is in love with my daughter.” 

Barry looked elated. “He is?” 

Carla shot the entire team a look. “The man hates me. Every time we’re in a room together, he looks like he wants to throw me in a ditch.” 

Sue cringed. “Does that mean you don’t approve of their relationship?” 

Carla smoothed the wrinkles out of her pantsuit. “Caitlin is her own woman, why would I have to approve of anything?” 

Sue didn’t know how to respond so she simply smiled tightly. “I see.”

“But what about Caitlin?” Barry pressed eagerly. “Has she told you ever about what she feels for him?” 

“I didn’t even know she was married until her husband was dead.” Dr. Tannhauser deadpanned. 

Barry’s excitement waned. “I forgot about that.” 

Dr. Tannhauser stood up abruptly. “Well if that’s that, I’ll stop downstairs to say hello to Caitlin, then be on my way.” 

“Tell her you had a meeting in this part of town, or else she’d get suspicious,” Sue warned. 

Caitlin’s mother nodded, and her heels clicked against the floor. But she paused in the doorway. “Do you really want my advice?”

“Yes,” said pretty much everybody. 

“If you want to get Caitlin to open up, you’ll have to get inside her head.” 

Barry gasped. “Or someone who _ lived _ inside her head.” 

Dr. Tannhauser quirked a ghost of a smile. “That’s correct.”

  
  


~.~

Dr. Tannhauser was just leaving the Med Bay when she encountered Cisco in the hall. He halted, his entire demeanour souring. He was holding a plastic bag with three containers of takeout. 

“Carla.”

“Cisco.” 

“Here to visit Caitlin?” he asked, struggling to keep his tone lighthearted and failing miserably. 

“Just said goodbye.” 

They stared at each other before Cisco broke into an almost wry smile. He chuckled to himself once, and she turned to watch him more as he continued to pass her, on his way to where she’d just came.

“She pretends like she doesn’t care, but she’s always happy when you call.” 

~.~

Iris and Sue were having drinks because they needed breaks from their scheming significant others. 

"Did you understand what it was Caitlin's mom was implying at the end there? I didn't." Sue drummed her fingers against the tabletop, staring at the ice in her coke and rum. She wanted pretzels. 

Iris shook her head. "I think she was talking about Killer Frost."

Sue made a face. "Are we ready to try that yet?"

"No. It's risky. It's all risky business with those two. We need to come up with something of our own." 

"Like what?" 

Iris accidentally dropped her keys. She hopped off her high stool from the bar counter, and picked it up, pausing when she noticed a man reading a print copy of _Central City Citizen _in a corner booth. 

"Huh," said Iris. She can't believe she's never thought of it before. "Sue?" 

"Craving pretzels? Me too." 

"Forget the pretzels, Dearbon. Central City Citizen's about to get a new advice column, and Cisco's going to be in the first issue." 


	6. Use Central City Citizen (Ask Iris)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #5 USE CENTRAL CITY CITIZEN (ASK IRIS)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!

_ Dear Iris, _

_ I find myself in a difficult situation I can no longer ignore. My best friend and my coworker is the love of my life. But growing up in Central City has only complicated things. We’re both metahumans, and I’ve always feared that her new powers would be a barrier in a romantic relationship, as it already put a strain on our friendship. I know she loves me, but I don’t know if its the same way I adore her. Her friendship means so much to me, and I worry confessing would not only ruin us, but the dynamic of our entire workplace. How do I tell her? Do I tell her? What should I do? _

_ \- Lovesick Engineer _

_ Dear Lovesick Engineer, _

_ Love is a complicated thing, friend, but metahuman powers should not prevent you from following your heart. If you’re as good friends as you say, an honest discussion about your feelings would be a good idea. Make sure that you give her time and space, asking her what she wants. Good luck! _

_ \- Iris _

Iris put the newly printed Central City Citizen down. “Wow, Sue. I’m still impressed.” 

Sue flipped her hair over her shoulder, pretending not to bask in her friend’s praise. “I may have taken a creative writing course at college prep some time ago.” 

“I believe you.” 

Sue peered over her shoulder at the finished paper. They were alone at Iris’ office early in the morning. Across the hall was still dark, meaning Ralph was not in yet at the PI. He usually liked to grab a box of donuts to cheer up the Monday Dumps. Non-vegan, thankfully, now that Kamilla had left for her new gig at Vogue. 

“So what do we do now? Rally the boys for another meeting?” 

Iris paused, “...No.” The problem was, in general, that individually, they could be conniving, sneaky missionaries of love. But together, as a whole? 

...Overambitious puppies tripping over each other to get Cisco and Caitlin to so much as look at each other for longer than a minute. 

Team Flash was all about the teamwork, but that only seemed to work 61% of the time, honestly, and after lots of fails. 

So no, they should go about this differently. Iris rolled up the sleeves of her satin blouse. “The boys won’t be able to goof this up if they don’t know it’s not real.” 

Sue lit up brilliantly with a small gasp._ “ _ You’re _ right.” _

~.~ 

They grabbed Iris’ extrapolator to sneak into Star Labs. They made it just in time before Caitlin arrived. Always punctual, Caitlin click-clacked in her cute heels into the Cortex, already shrugging off her coat. She draped it over her chair at her monitor, greeting them all hello. 

“I thought you’d be at the office, Iris. Hi Sue.” 

“I’m on my way back,” Iris said, flashing the extrapolator. “Just swung by to surprise Barry with something.” And Caitlin. And Cisco. And Ralph. “He’s dealing with something over at CCPD.”

Caitlin smiled. “Aww.” She reached over to grab a mug and flipped on the instant kettle. “Hey,” she said. “Since I don’t see Cisco, and Ralph’s not stuck to your side, Sue, I guess I’ll read today’s paper until the rest show up.”  
  
Iris grinned. “Good idea, it’s nice to get feedback from a friend. Left one on your desk, as usual.” 

Caitlin reddened. “I--Just don’t really get the chance to read it. It’s so busy and--” 

Iris shook her head, dismissing her excuses. “I get it.” Sue checked her watch and made a face. “Eek! I gotta visit my parents at the charity society tea!” 

Sue scurried off, grabbing Iris’ extrapolator out of her hand and breaching out of Star Labs to her apartment. 

The girls blinked. 

“Do you ever, like, forget the fact that Sue is uber-rich?” 

Caitlin nearly snorted into her hot tea. “All the time.” 

~.~ 

  
  


_ Dear Iris, _

_ I find myself in a difficult situation I can no longer ignore. My best friend and my coworker is the love of my life. But growing up in Central City has only complicated things. We’re both metahumans, and I’ve always feared that her new powers would be a barrier in a romantic relationship, as it already put a strain on our friendship. I know she loves me, but I don’t know if its the same way I adore her. Her friendship means so much to me, and I worry confessing would not only ruin us, but the dynamic of our entire workplace. How do I tell her? Do I tell her? What should I do? _

_ \- Lovesick Engineer _

_ Dear Lovesick Engineer, _

_ Love is a complicated thing, friend, but metahuman powers should not prevent you from following your heart. If you’re as good friends as you say, an honest discussion about your feelings would be a good idea. Make sure that you give her time and space, asking her what she wants. Good luck! _

_ \- Iris _

Caitlin choked on her tea, splattering it all over her desk. Barry whizzed by, smacking her on the back. 

“Are you okay?” 

Caitlin coughed until she wheezed. _ “No!” _

Barry picked up the newspaper sheet, tilting his head at it. “_Ask Iris. _ Huh. She never told me she was starting this.” 

Caitlin lunged at him, snatching back the paper. _ “Don’t read it,” _ she hissed. 

Barry laughed, tickled by Caitlin’s sudden haywire. “Okay, but now I _ have _ to.” 

He yanked it back from her, creasing it into a thousand wrinkles. He shook it out, speed walking around the room as she chased after him helplessly. 

_ “Dear Iris, I find myself in a difficult situation,” _he read out loud to her constant shushing. But after the next sentence, Barry trailed off, stunned, lowering the paper. “Cisco wrote this.” 

Caitlin finally got it back, folding it into a proper rectangle to give herself something to do besides wringing her hands. “You think so?” 

_ “Lovesick Engineer?” _he repeated. “Cisco is an engineer. Everyone here has meta powers. And he’s in--” He stopped himself short. 

“...With _ me?” _Caitlin whispered. She looked pale, her eyes glazed over like she was far away. Barry had not ever seen that look on her before. It was educational. She shook her head, breaking out of her spell. “No,” she told him firmly. “Barry. No.” 

“Your mom thinks so!” 

“My _ mom?” _

Barry opened his mouth but she simply held out her hand and shot him a glare that came from one of Frost’s angrier moments, for sure. “Don’t. I don’t want to know.” 

Barry hugged her suddenly, and Caitlin kind of wanted to shrivel up and die. “Don’t panic, Cait. This is fine.” He was squeezing her way too tightly. “This is...this is good. This is really, really, good. Stay here.” 

He left her alone in the Cortex as he whisked everyone upstairs to the Lounge from all across the city. 

Sue was in a gown. “Oh thank the Lord.” She literally ripped at least two full skirts off, urging Ralph to come and unbutton her tight bodice piece. Iris stepped over the frill and crinoline as Barry wrote '#5 USE CENTRAL CITIZEN (ASK IRIS)' in all caps on the ‘GET CISCO AND CAITLIN TOGETHER’ board. 

Cecile squinted at the marker scribble, hiking up young Jenna higher on her hip. “You’re going to have to explain this one.” 

“Welcome back Cecile,” Barry said. “This is an emergency meeting.” He waved his arms. “Guys--Cisco _ confessed. _ And Caitlin knows! _ ” _

Ralph gasped and Iris stood up straight from the couch. “How!?” 

“Through Iris’ newspaper! The new ask Iris section.” Barry grabbed her hand, pulling her up. “How did you not notice it was him??” 

She shared a look with Sue before she turned back to her husband. “I guess I didn’t think about it?” she lied. 

“Where is Cisco anyway?” 

“He’s renovating the Speed Lab. Don’t think he’ll be out for a while.” 

“So what do we do?” 

Cecile gave Iris a weird glance. “Um,” she bounced her toddler as she began to fuss. “How sure are we that it’s actually Cisco who wrote this? Because I’m feeling a whole mixed bag of emotions in this room.” She glanced at Iris again. 

Iris laughed nervously, pushing Cecile out of the lounge. She was going to get damn caught. “Uhhhhh, let’s just watch it unfold on our own, without interruption!” 

The others all thought that was a terrible idea. 

Ralph was particularly whiney, complaining that they should at least have the right to watch it happen since it would be anticlimactic to just not be involved after all their troubles. 

Sue compromised by setting up live feeds with Gideon and Barry’s assistance. Her phone rang every fifteen minutes or so with angry voicemails from her parents. She had texted them a while back to not freak them out into thinking she’d gone through a disappearing act again but had much higher priorities to matchmake than to spend her day mingling with high society. 

~.~ 

  
  


Cisco stepped into the Med Bay and faked a cough. “Caitlin,” he croaked just as she nearly weaseled her way out. He grabbed onto her arm. “Can you check me out real quick? I think I’m sick.” 

Her eyes blew back wide at where he touched her, conflicted. Damn him. He knew she wouldn’t be able to say no. She sighed, and pointed to the cot, grabbing her stethoscope and blue gloves. Refusing to look at him. 

  
Caitlin slipped the chest piece under his shirt, keeping a steady hand on his shoulder as he squirmed at the temperature. 

She had spent all morning convincing herself that there was no way Cisco was in love with her. No way that he’d write to Iris asking for public advice, of all things. Airing out potential anxiety he had about their friendship she’d never known to everyone first before her. That there was, coincidentally, another meta engineer out there. At Mercury Labs or Tannhauser Industries, maybe. Someone else whose best friend was also a metahuman. Just. Somebody else that was not them. And then, the few times she let herself think maybe it was him. That maybe this was Cisco. 

What then? 

Caitlin blinked, realizing she was just resting her hand under his chest without doing anything. She moved it around, actually listening to his lungs this time, then continued with the next few tests. Three minutes later she was throwing out the used tongue compressor in the garbage. 

“You’re fine,” she said. 

“I know.” Cisco paused and she stiffened in her lab coat. “This was the only way I could get you to stop avoiding me. Are you going to tell me what's wrong?” 

Caitlin looked up, sucking in a breath. “Are you a Lovesick Engineer?” 

His brows furrowed and his mouth quirked. “Am I a whaaat?” 

A feeling flooded down to Caitlin’s toes. Relief, she thought._ It wasn’t him_. It wasn’t Cisco. 

She reached into her pocket for her phone, pulling up the CCC app. “This isn’t you?” 

Cisco’s eyes scanned the article from where she was holding the phone up to his face. He grabbed it from her, hopping down from the medical bed.

_ “No. _You thought I...” 

  
  


It went quiet. And then they burst out laughing. They held onto each other as they slid to the floor, hysterical until they both inexplicably cried. 

  
  


~.~ 

Team Flash stared at the live footage in bafflement. 

  
“For Chrissake,” Iris grumbled, switching it off. “We were getting somewhere.” 

Cecile bit her lip. “I just have one question.” She raised her finger. “One.” 

They all turned to her. 

“Who wrote that crap and convinced Iris to publish it. Fess up. I know it’s fake.” 

Ralph and Barry’s jaws dropped in shock and disbelief when Iris only scoffed. 

“Sue did. We thought it’d go smoother if there was a real element of surprise.” 

“Et tu, Iris?” Barry said, wounded. “Babe.” 

“It almost worked too!” she snapped. 

Ralph was less hurt and more impressed with his girlfriend. “Well,” he said after turning back on the live feed out of curiosity. The two were still on the floor but no longer giggling like school children, huddled in a corner, talking like they’ve been separated for years. 

“I think you’re right.” He pointed at the screen. “I think they’re even snuggling.” 

Sue leaned in, wrapping her arms around his shoulders from behind. “Her legs are literally over his lap.” 

“Guys,” Barry said slowly. “What if we just leave them there?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yes. It is time for the 'lock them in the closet' trope. Except :) :) Flashified.


	7. Lock Them in the Time Vault (It Worked for Wally & Jesse)

“Like zoo animals?” said Iris dryly. 

“No!”

She cocked an eyebrow, unconvinced. “I don’t really see how this is a good idea.”   
  


“Well…” Barry gestured towards the screen. “I mean… They don’t look like they’re going anywhere.”   
  


“True,” said Ralph. “Maybe we could even get some ambiance going on in there. You know like, some romantic music...We can dim the lights!” 

“This is actually a good idea and I’ll tell you why.”   
  


“We’re listening,” said Cecile. 

“Wally and Jesse," he said as if that meant _everything._

They all blinked at him as he grinned. 

It took a few seconds for Barry to realize he needed to elaborate. "Remember back with all that Savitar madness years ago we locked them in the Time Vault for their own safety?” 

“Yeah, and Wally got super angry about it because he wanted to be part of the action but we decided to lock them away like Rapunzel or something?” Iris crossed her arms, sharing a look with Cecile. 

Barry waved his hands away. “Details.” 

The blackboard squeaked as Ralph erased "ASK IRIS"_,_ putting in all caps: “LOCK THEM IN THE TIME VAULT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS (IT WORKED FOR WALLE AND JESSE).”   
  


Iris coughed. “Y.” 

Ralph frowned. “I thought Barry just explained it, he said that keeping them in close proximity will increase their likelihood of breathing the same air as they gaze into each other's eyes.”   
  


Iris pinched the bridge of her nose. _“No,”_ she sighed. “Y. Ralph. Wally is spelt with a _Y._” 

Ralph went a bit red at the ears. “Oh,” he said, and quickly fixed the mistake. 

Sue got up from the couch. “I think we’re all missing a crucially important detail here. They’re not _in _the time vault. They’re in Caitlin’s lab.”

  
  


“Oh,” said Barry. “Right.” 

“Sooooo….” Sue continued, twirling a bit with a bright smile. “Who’s going to pretend that Reverse Flash is back!”   
  


The room went quiet. 

  
“Uh no.” 

“I don’t think…”   
  


“I mean, the trauma.”   
  


“We’d need a more believable Wells….”   
  


Sue huffed. “Well, fine. See you guys come up with a better idea.”   
  


Iris rolled her eyes. “I’ll get them there trauma-free. In the meantime, spice up the Vault. Ralph’s right, it’s kind of creepy in there.” 

“I think it’s the grey walls,” Ralph commented. 

“They’re silver, honey.”   
  


~.~ 

Barry, Ralph, Cecile and Sue crammed over the monitor feed as they watched Iris peek into the Med Bay. 

Cisco and Caitlin were still there on the floor, totally in their own little world. Cisco had unzipped his hoodie, using it as a makeshift pillow as Caitlin had kicked off her work heels, sitting with her legs crossed at the ankles. Her toes wiggled when Cisco leaned forward to talk to her, and Iris was mildly disgusted at the level of cute. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she said softly, “But we’ve been looking for you guys.”   
  


It was like they hadn’t even registered the time until Iris had mentioned there was a life outside the Med Bay. They both snapped back to reality, Cisco gathering his hoodie as Caitlin glanced at the clock mounted on the wall.

  
  
“Oh my god, we’re so sorry Iris. I think we got carried away.” 

“It’s okay,” Iris laughed. “There’s no emergency or meta attack or anything. I just wanted your advice.”

  
  
Cisco pointed at himself. “Me?-- Or her?” 

“Both! It’s about the suits we keep in the Time Vault? I was trying to get Gideon to show me one of the ones you’ve stored from Barry’s old days as the Red Streak, but I don’t know how to reactivate it.” 

“Oh, it’s easy,” Caitlin smiled, following them out of the room. 

Barry flashed Sue out of the Time Vault just as she nearly tripped over the lit candles she had strategically placed in a heart shape on the floor. 

Iris smirked to herself, glad that they managed a clean getaway. 

Iris pulled out her phone as Cisco blabbed about voice commands. “I think someone is calling me,” she said. “Sorry, I got to take this.”

  
  


She turned the corner, then walked out. She found herself in the dimly lit hallway. 

Up in the corner wall was their security camera. Iris looked up at it, winking. Success. 

  
  


~.~ 

Caitlin leaned against the wall. “Gideon, how long has Iris been on the phone for?” 

There was a pause. “Good Afternoon, Ms. Snow. I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.” 

Cisco frowned. “Uh, Gideon. We’ve been waiting for about fifteen minutes for Iris to come back. Caitlin wanted to know how long her interview has been so far.” He turned to her.

“Why, though?” 

“Most newspaper interviews over the phone last about a half-hour,” Caitlin informed. 

“Legit?” 

“From what I’ve gathered with Central City Citizen. My estimate could still be way off.” 

“Hmm.” They turned to Gideon. “Well?” 

Gideon’s head bobbed in the air. “Mrs. West-Allen has been on the phone for exactly zero minutes.” 

“What?” 

Caitlin paled, “Oh no.” 

“What?” 

He followed her around the next left corner and stopped in his tracks. “Oh.” 

There were candles. Boy, were there candles. And rose petals. Jazz music queued up by Gideon the moment Cisco stepped into the room. A saxophone medley from a playlist he vaguely remembers seeing on Spotify titled ‘Sax & Sex.’ 

Cisco cleared his throat, stuffing his thumbs into his pockets awkwardly. 

“Welllllllllll… We’ve been set up.” 

She blushed. “It appears so.”   
  


Well, that was okay. There was food. An order from Big Belly Burger. Not their favourite order, but considerate nonetheless. Cisco could ignore the subtext of it all if he focused really hard on eating french fries and only eating french fries. 

The Yankee Candles scattered around the floor and the damn rose petals were just there. They didn’t have to … pay attention to them. 

Cisco tried to explain his very confused thought process to Caitlin, attempting to calm her down as it appeared she had yet to take a breath since she had beckoned him over. 

She exhaled. “I think Barry and Iris really want us to date.” 

Cisco folded his arms over his chest. Uncrossed them. Scratched his head. “Yeah, um. So does Ralph.”

“Which means Sue is in on this too.”

“Yep.”

“What about Cecile?” 

“I don’t think she’s got the time,” Cisco admitted. Come to think of it, Kara had been awfully talkative about his love life after that alien attack. He thought she was just being her friendly self but--

“I’m hungry,” Caitlin said suddenly, breaking eye contact.

She plopped herself into the middle of the heart. “Let’s just eat the chicken nuggets.” 

“...Okay.” Cisco said, sitting down cautiously. Caitlin picked up the takeout bag and deposited it into her lap. Cisco didn’t eat, only watched her as she methodically took out the containers with the food, counted the chicken nuggets, and split them in half, shoving them over on a brown napkin. 

“Caitlin,” he said, dunking his piece into the bbq sauce. “Look, I know today has been weird—”

  
  
“I don’t want to talk about it.”

He paused, lukewarm nugget halfway to his mouth. 

She unclenched her fist. “I’ve spent _all_ day dealing with this nonsense. And I am hungry. So we’re going to just take the free food. Eat it. Nag to our friends about boundaries. Then go home. Okay?” 

Caitlin needed this. Cisco wasn’t quite sure why, but yeah, she was fraying at the seams. His skepticism softened, reaching forward to pat her hand.

“Sure,” he promised. “I’d love a chicken nugget date with you.”   
  


Caitlin didn't say anything in direct response, but she smiled as they clinked curly fries. 

~.~ 

“They’re going to be so so so so so pissed,” said Wally from the Facetime call. 

“But it worked, didn’t it!?” Barry argued. 

There was a feedback delay. The team watched as Wally’s face made a complicated run of expressions before settling on resignation. “I guess? You do know we broke up, though. I don’t see why you want to model Cisco and Caitlin after our failed relationship.” 

Ralph pushed Barry out of Wally’s view with his long arm. “We’ll worry about that when we’ve got them to an established couple status. Right now, we’re looking at using methods we’ve got proven successful results for, and that’s all that matters.” 

“Okay, Ralph," Wally replied. It's been his go-to phrase when he didn't understand what Dibny was talking about for two years now and seemed to still be serving him well. 

Cecile blew an air kiss at the screen, promising to say hello to Joe for Wally before he hung up. 

  
  


~.~   
  


“Alright,” Cisco got up from the floor and stretched his muscles. “Let’s bounce.”   
  


He walked out of the room and headed for the secret passage to the hallway. He ended up smacking his nose against the wall. “Hey.” 

His palms pressed against the bubble surface as his nose stung, trying to find the exit. “Um. The door is gone.”   
  


Caitlin uncrossed her legs, dusting crumbs off her skirt. “What do you mean the door is gone? It’s right there.”

She stood up, pushed against the proper panel lightly with a hip check. It didn’t budge. 

“Gideon?” Cisco wondered nasally. “Please open the door. We want out, girl!”   
  


“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” 

“Why not?” 

“It is against the executive order.” 

“Whose executive order?” Cisco demanded. 

“Barry Allen’s, of course.”   
  


Caitlin groaned. “Of course,” she mimicked bitterly. “Can that man give me a break?!” 

“Apparently not,” Cisco muttered under his breath.

They sat there for about five minutes after Caitlin assessed his face for swelling. Then it dawned on him. He really must've hit his face to not remember the abilities of _his own metahuman powers._

“Okay, enough of this crap.” He spread out his knuckles as a blue breach zipped open into time-space. “Let’s jet!” 

“Oh my god were you just pretending we were locked in here the whole time?" Caitlin cried, mentally smacking herself for not thinking of it sooner. 

Cisco smirked, not wanting to admit to his moment of idiocy. “Payback for believing I’m pathetic enough to anonymously pen a letter to Iris of all people about my non-existent love life, your ego is showing, Caitlin...”

He was teasing, and she knew it. Luckily, she was too relieved at the prospect of leaving to bother summoning _her_ special abilities for a wicked retort. She shoved his shoulder as they jumped into the breach, causing him to stumble. 

“Hey!”

The breach wavered like hot air over a bbq grill and they tripped over thin air. 

“Oh shit.”   
  


Caitlin whipped around, startled. “How did–What’s?” 

She took a deep breath, staring at the ceiling. “Oh.”

This was the Time Vault. The newly renovated security-enhanced Time Vault. The one that was meta-resistant, and equipped with anti-vibrational force fields. Just like they had approved of after their second encounter with the ever maniacal jailbroken Echo. 

Cisco stood back with his hands on his knees. He bent his head down so that his hair flipped around his face like a curtain of defeat.

“Caitlin?” 

“Yeah?”

  
“We’re actually stuck here.” 

“I know.” 

He sagged to the floor, covering an arm over his face while giving out a long groan.

Caitlin watched as he wiggled like a worm, maneuvering around and adjusting his position until he rested his head against his arm on the ground. 

He opened his free arm, inviting her in. 

Caitlin hesitantly sat down next to him, getting herself comfortable against his shoulder. He smiled when she nestled against him, turning into his side. 

“Wake me up when they stop being RIDICULOUS," she said loudly, glaring at the camera. 

“Okay,” he promised, hand going to play with a curl of her hair. He let his eyelids fall as the lustful ‘Sex & Sax’ lulled them to sleep.

~.~ 

Five hours later, Cecile demanded that they unlock the door. 

“Why?” asked Ralph. “They’re literally sleeping together.” 

“Not in the way we want them to,” moped Sue.

“Listen,” Cecile warned them. “As an attorney and a general advocate for human rights I feel obligated to guarantee that they won’t be left overnight in a creepy villain lair built into our hallway without consent.” 

“But—” Barry tried to object, but the wither of Cecile’s glare stopped him short. 

“Don’t think I won’t sue your ass on their behalf. There are shenanigans and then there are _ shenanigans.” _

Ralph snapped his fingers in a Z formation. “Miss Ce-_Seal Your Fate Horton _ain’t afraid of The Flash, bud.” 

That scared Barry into running for the door. 

~.~ 

They woke up soon after. Wally was correct. They were so so so so so so so so pissed. 

After an hour of scolding, feeling dejected and discouraged, Team Flash sat around the island of the lounge, throwing themselves a pity party. 

“That was a bust,” Sue complained, smooshing her face against the counter with a groan. “And now they’re upset. It's hard to matchmake grumps."

“Yeah,” Iris pointed out. “It’s going to get difficult for them to even want to talk to us if they’re pissed at our efforts to hook them up. _Way to go Ralph.” _

Ralph slammed down his Shirley Temple, indignant. “How is this my fault? It was your husband that suggested they get locked in there!” 

Barry rubbed at his temples, annoyed. “It worked for Wally and Jesse,” he stressed as if that were the only thing that mattered to him. It probably was. Iris patted his back, suggesting they go home. 

Just as a weary Flash gathered up the energy to make a sprint home, Cecile squealed, doing a very excited dance in her chair. 

They all surrounded her as she looked up from her phone, waiting for her to tell them what was happening that warranted such an exclamation. 

  
“I won plane tickets for my efforts defending the innocent aliens from the city hall!” 

“Way to go Cecile!” Iris cheered, giving her a high five. “Where to?” 

Cecile hummed as she scrolled through her email, humming out its message of thanks for her legal help until she got to the ticket attachments at the end of it.

“Vegas!” She slumped. “What’s a mom of a two-year-old gonna do in Vegas?”

Barry and Iris cringed. 

“I think we’re missing something…” Ralph whispered into Sue’s ear. 

“Joe accidentally swallowed a toothpick at an Elvis convention he went with Grandma Esther when we were eight,” Barry filled them in. "Never been back since. We're not even allowed to utter _the name_ in the house." 

“We were seven, babe.” 

Barry frowned. “Mrs. McGal was our teacher though.” 

“Yeah, our gym teacher. She only became our homeroom teacher after we gave Mrs. Martin a nervous breakdown—You know what? Nevermind.” 

She glanced at Sue and Ralph who were giving identical amused expressions. 

“The point,” Cecile said. “Is that the West house will not be going to Vegas anytime soon.”

  
  
“I wouldn’t mind Vegas!” Iris perked up. “Since Dad never let us go…..” She wrapped her arms around Barry. “Maybe we should go! We could use a vacay, hmm?” 

Barry covered her hands that were clasped around his neck with his own, leaning into his wife’s touch. “I promise we’ll go to Vegas one day,” he said. “But it’s clear we should be getting those tickets to Caitlin and Cisco.” 

Iris laughed, reaching for Cecile's phone. "Very funny." She stopped abruptly when she realized he was serious. _"Barry." _

“Killer Frost and Vibe in Vegas?” Ralph whistled as he helped Sue into her coat. “Sounds like a recipe for disaster."

"Who knows..." Sue looked up at her boyfriend. "That's where my parents eloped."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only gonna get crazier.


	8. Send them to Vegas, Hope they get Hitched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #7 SEND THEM TO VEGAS, HOPE THEY GET HITCHED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vegas, Baby!

Barry slid two plane tickets in front of Caitlin. 

“Barry. What am I looking at?” 

“An all-expenses-paid weekend trip for two. Destination:  _ Vegas _ .” 

Caitlin smiled politely. “That sounds awesome. When are you leaving?” 

“It is awesome and your flight is in five days.” He flung her passport into her lap. Before Caitlin could process anything, Barry had sped out of the room. 

She blew off the windswept hair from her face and stared at the government-issued document. It’s not that she didn’t know what this was. 

  
Ever since the Time Vault incident a couple of days ago, every lingering look from any of her friends drove her up the wall. 

But Vegas? That was a vacation. A vacation away from their meddling schemes. A hop, skip and a jump away from Looney bin Central City. She’d be an idiot not to take the offer and run with it.

Someone knocked on her door. Cisco peeked in, shoving his hands in his pockets. “So apparently we’re going to Vegas?” 

Caitlin waved the plane tickets. “Apparently.” 

He pulled up the spare chair, leaning forward as he fidgeted. His brows were pulled together, careful. “Look. We don’t actually have to go.” He made a face and corrected himself. “ _ I _ don’t have to get the second ticket. You deserve the break, Caitlin. You can bring whoever you want.” 

Caitlin folded her arms. “You deserve time off just as much.” 

He rolled his eyes. “I’m a workaholic. I’d just end up with tools in my pockets.” 

“Not if I got any say in this,” she teased. “This would be _ no _ work _ all _ play.” 

Cisco leaned back, kind of surprised. “Sounds like you do want us to go.” 

“Of course I do!” She smiled, getting up, and tossed him her passport much as Barry had with her. He opened it immediately to laugh at her photo. Caitlin smirked as he couldn’t find anything to point out. She had a good hair day. “Damn,” he said, sliding it back. “I can’t show you mine now. I took it the day after we found out Barry was Savitar. I looked like a raccoon.” 

“Oh, now you have to.” 

Cisco ran out of the room, his voice echoing from down the hall.  _ “Noooooooooo!” _

_ ~.~  _

Frost spent ten minutes laughing at Cisco’s passport photo. 

“Yeah yeah,” he grumbled, tightening his grip on the carryon suitcase as they rolled past another breakfast burrito place at 5 AM. “You realize that Caitlin’s going to have to be the one to pass security, right?” 

Frost rolled her eyes. “Relax. I know.” 

Cisco swiped away a text notification from Ralph. Why the hell he was up at this time just to bug him about this trip, he had no clue. 

**Ralph:** _ Don’t get married by Elvis  _

Cisco paused to type back:  _ Does Sue know you’re awake at this ungodly hour?  _

  
  


_ ~.~  _

Ralph looked up at Team Flash, all in various styles of pyjamas in the lounge, crammed on the sofas. He had even pulled up his old futon from the basement, and Sue had gotten rid of his old sweat stains somehow beforehand. They were all too mistified to ask her how she’d managed it. 

“How should I respond?” 

They had all grouped, minus Cecile, who frankly drew the line at waking up at 3 am just to ensure that Cisco and Caitlin made their flight together, to not only strategize their next plans but to support Barry and Iris on their quest for parenthood. 

Sue sidled up to Ralph and snapped a selfie of their sleepy faces, sure to crop out any damning Star Labs identifiers in their background. “There,” she said, sticking out her tongue as she typed something back. 

“What did you do?” Iris yawned, padding back from the bathroom. Barry looked up anxiously. “Well?” 

“It takes five minutes for the results to show, babe.” 

Her husband groaned, throwing his head back against the couch in his hoodie, covering over his eyes. “That’s _ forever _ ,” he whined. 

“I sent them a selfie of us with a demand for one of them back”, Sue piped up, answering Iris’ question. 

“Good idea,” Chester clapped at them. He wasn’t an original member of the Get Cisco and Caitlin to Date (Each Other) club, but he had heard that Iris might be expecting and begged them all to experience the possible first announcement of The Flash’s child. 

He lowered his video camera. “Can I post this on my vlog?” 

Barry and Iris hesitated as Sue grimaced. Ralph discreetly shook his head at Chester, who quickly turned it off. “Oh. Okay. There ain’t need to be Cisco here for me to get the vibes.” 

Ralph dragged out the whiteboard and stubbed his toe against one of its wheels. Luckily, his rabbit slippers softened the blow. 

“Alright gang,” he said, channelling his Fred Jones voice. He wrote ‘SEND THEM TO VEGAS: HOPE THEY GET HITCHED.’ in all caps. 

  
  
  


“Hate to be a Debbie Downer but--” 

Ralph cringed. “Oh please don’t ever use that saying around me.” 

Sue flopped back onto the futon in her petite satin nightgown, sticking her tongue out at him. ” _ Not to be a Debbie Dibny Downer,” _ she repeated just to spite him, “When my parents got hitched they said they were drunk out of their minds and secretly regretted it.” 

“Wait,” said Ralph. “Is this the same night they conceived you?” 

Sue gave him a hairy eyeball. “ _ No.  _ That was the time they got drunk in Los Angeles.” 

“Oh my god, Sue." 

Barry got up to go to the bathroom to check on the pregnancy tests. 

“It’s only been three minutes, Barry!” Iris called after him, but he didn’t listen, mumbling something about accelerated test results for speedster babies under his breath. 

She let out an amused chuckle and propped up her feet where Barry was sitting. “So  _ now  _ you’re worried about the ethics?” 

Sue shrugged, leaving it open. “We could always just deal with the consequences afterwards. Works for me.” 

“You’re assuming like there’s an actual probability Caitlin, as in  _ Dr. Caitlin Snow, _ would get so drunk at Vegas, she’d end up agreeing to marry Cisco by an Elvis.” 

  
“ _ I _ never said anything about Elvis,” Sue sniffed, affronted. 

  
  


“I take offence,” said Chester. “You’re acting as if Caitlin would never marry Cisco sober.” 

“Well, how could she do that if she doesn’t know she’s in love with him?” Iris argued, rolling her eyes. 

“Her awareness of the subject does not have to be an obstacle,” Barry argued, stalking back out of the bathroom. 

  
  


Ralph’s phone pinged. Cisco and Frost stood over the camera, both visibly irritated. 

“Oh, that’s not coupley at all.” Sue snatched his phone again. Ralph let her. “I’m asking for a retake. Frost needs to go.” 

Barry scoffed. “Frost does not take too kindly to be asked to  _ go _ .” 

“Yeah?” Sue snapped. “Then we’re gonna have a problem.” She walked over to the whiteboard and pointed at what had been written there for over a month now: HOW TO GET CISCO AND CAITLIN TO DATE (EACH OTHER). 

“It doesn’t say “How to get Cisco and Frost to date, now does it?” She put a hand on her hip. “I get what Caitlin’s mom was trying to say to us before now. To get into Caitlin’s head we gotta team up with someone who has  _ lived in her head.”  _

The room went quiet because nobody quite knew what to say. Sue had a point. Iris got up with a sigh, to the confused look of Barry.    
  
“Where are you going?” he pouted, reaching for her still as she slid away. 

“Do you want to find out if I’m pregnant or not?” 

Barry chased her to the bathroom. 

  
  
  


~.~

  
  


Frost slammed down her hands on the counter. “Listen, bub. I want the JLo ring for no less than two hundred.” 

The guy stared at her. “The sign literally says 2 grand.” 

“Yeah,” she said sarcastically. “Because people just randomly carry 2 grand in cash on their persons. I’m wearing leather pants and I don’t do purses. Where the hell am I supposed to be carrying that?”

“Frost,” Cisco warned. Honestly, she was behaving this weekend. Cisco was happy to have Caitlin for this vacation. However, Vegas was undoubtedly a Killer Frost city, and Cisco could not deny her only request. 

_ Rick Harrison’s World Famous Gold and Silver.  _

The Pawn Stars. 

“That’s Big Hoss,” Frost leaned back to whisper into Cisco’s ear. “He’s a big softie.”

“I’ve watched the show, you know,” Cisco whispered back. He has, in fact,  _ not  _ watched the show. 

Frost pursed her lips much like Caitlin did on a mission, cocking a deadly eyebrow. “How about I make you a deal.” 

She snapped her fingers at Cisco to hand her the black garbage bag she’d made him carry. Big Hoss leaned over the counter as she pulled out what was inside. “This is one of only four original  _ Flash _ suits made in 2014.” 

Big Hoss widened his eyes. “Woah. Hold on. You’re telling me this is a real metahuman superhero suit?” 

Frost smirked. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” 

“I’m going to get The Old Man.” The Pawn Star excused himself, and Cisco turned to Frost as other tourists began to watch them curiously. 

He lowered his voice. “Does Barry know you took the suit from the Time Vault?” 

The look on her face made it pretty obvious.

“Okay, whatever. It’s fine.” Cisco waved his hand. “As long as the first original is still there for the future Flash Museum, he won’t even realize it’s gone, will he?” 

“Smart guy,” Frost grinned, checking his shoulder. 

Two hours later they had a privacy contract quickly put together after an impromptu call with Cecile and a taped episode for season 18 of the show. When it was all over, Frost was shaking hands with all of the cast and crew, all smiles. Cisco stayed behind, keeping a low profile. She ended up bargaining the JLo ring for $250. Most of it came out of Cisco’s pocket with half-promises of Frost paying him back. 

Cisco had stopped teasing her about pretending to be disgruntled by the time she had the ring on her finger. She was so elated, she nearly skipped out of the store. With a blown budget and a satisfying deal, Frost went back under and Cisco got to appreciate Caitlin flashing her new ring at him. 

“She wasn’t too wicked, I hope.” 

“Not at all,” he promised. Cisco was holding her hand to inspect the ring. It was big and flashy but looked really good on Caitlin’s finger. His thumb brushed over the stones as they were stopped on the busy sidewalk. She watched him as he did, going silent. 

“It’s beautiful,” Cisco told her. “Frost knew what she was doing.” He met her gaze to find her smiling softly back at him. “Thank you.” Caitlin tugged away, hiding her arm behind her back. 

“Hey,” he said, realizing something. He swallowed, unsure of how to bring it up. “What happened to your old rings?” 

She tucked a strand of her hair as they made it back to their hotel. “You mean Ronnie’s? I still have them, but I’ve dated since obviously, I couldn’t wear them forever.” 

What Cisco was having a hard time articulating was how right it felt to see a band around her ring finger. Even if it were on the wrong hand. He frowned at himself, sliding in the key for their room, letting Caitlin in first. 

The ring sparkled off the light of the windows against the wall. He flopped onto the bed and grabbed a pillow as she went to comb through her hair. 

His phone pinged. 

**Ralph:** _Sue really wants a selfie of you guys. #FOMO _

That was the third time since the airport. 

Cisco sighed, and got up, telling Caitlin to smile into the camera as they smushed their cheeks together. 

“Another one?” she groaned through her laugh when he poked her side. He clicked and received a candid pic of Caitlin laughing with her hand over her mouth, the corners of her eyes crinkling. He saved it as his lock screen and sent it to Sue. Hopefully, they’d die down now. 

~.~ 

Sue came through the door of the Cortex with two bottles of champagne on Monday. After getting Ralph to pop them open, she put her fingers in her mouth and whistled, waiting for Team Flash to make their way from their corners of Star Labs to get here. 

  
Barry skidded in as she poured out a glass. Chester and Iris came by shortly afterwards. 

“Now that we know you’re not with child,” she said, pressing a glass into Iris’ hand. “You can drink with us as we put this all to a close.” 

Barry sniffed at his drink. “...Why?” 

Chester sat himself down in Cisco’s chair while he still could. “Yeah, isn’t it a bit insensitive to celebrate Barry and Iris not being pregnant after all?” 

Iris shrugged. “We’re not that sad, we’re just going to try again.” 

Barry gave her a knowing look that had the rest of the room rolling their eyes. 

Ralph set Kara up on speakerphone as Sue made her announcement. She stood up on Caitlin’s chair for height. “I called it! Cisco and Caitlin are engaged!” She flashed the selfie on her phone at them, blowing up the giant ring on Caitlin’s finger. 

The Cortex went dead silent. Then burst into chaos all at once. Barry zipped at Sue, lunging for the phone as Iris and Chester huddled around him, seeing for themselves. 

“Oh my god! It worked!” Even Kara was shrieking over the phone. 

“IT WORKED!” Barry yelled back, collapsing in his chair, the exhaustion of trying to set up his two best friends for many years finally seeping from his shoulders. 

He downed his glass, then threw an arm over his eyes mumbling, “It is finished.” 

~.~ 

When Cisco and Caitlin returned on Tuesday, they could not comprehend why they were being showered with hugs. They were not able to ask either, as a nasty meta attack took up most of the day. 

“They missed us that much?” Caitlin whispered to Cisco. He grumbled under his breath. “I’d have gone on vacation a lot sooner if I knew it was what would take some people to appreciate my value around here.” 

Once the meta was finally locked up in Iron Heights, Barry nodded at Caitlin’s ring enthusiastically. The rest pretended not to be listening in very keenly. 

“So…” Barry asked Cisco, “You have anything to do with that?” 

Cisco followed his gaze at the JLo ring. “Yeah,” he said. “Of course.” 

“I’m so happy!” Barry tried to go in for another hug, but Cisco was tired of those and batted his lanky arms away. “Dude. I know. After that artwork incident, I’ve been extra careful to make sure Caitlin doesn’t go broke.”

Barry tilted his head. “What?” 

“What?” 

Caitlin also turned around in her chair, confused. “What?” 

Barry was scandalized.“You guys  _ split the cost  _ of Caitlin’s ring?” 

“Not really,” Cisco said. “We all know she’s not paying me back. I didn’t mind.” 

Caitlin reached in her drawer for her cheques. “Don’t worry, I will.”

Cisco marched over, yanking the pen out of her hand as she tried to write him one. 

The ink drove a line straight through the paper. “Hey!” 

“You don’t need to pay for the ring!” 

“It’s not your gift to give!” she argued back. “It was Frost who wanted the ring in the first place!” 

  
  


“Guys! Don’t fight!” Barry raised his voice over their squabbling to no avail. “This is no way to begin your engagement!” 

Caitlin’s chequebook fell to the ground. 

“Our  _ what?” _

Barry stepped forward gingerly. Both of their faces were suddenly very red. “Are you two getting married or not?” 

Cisco and Caitlin stared at him for so long, he was afraid they had turned into statues. 

“Um.” 

Cisco snapped out of his mortification, taking Caitlin’s limp right hand easily. “This is not an  _ engagement ring!”  _

“Oh.” 

“This is not even her  _ left hand!”  _

“...Oh.” 

“You wanna know what this is?” Cisco asked his best friend eerily calm. Barry nodded dumbly. Caitlin merely stared at the way Cisco had her hand wrapped in his, knowing his voice was going to raise to hysteria very soon. 

  
  


“This is JLo’s ring Frost snagged from the cast of  _ Pawn Stars.”  _

“Pawn Stars!? But Sue said--” 

“It was a mirror selfie, damn it! The one you guys wouldn’t stop pestering us for!” Cisco snapped. 

Caitlin put a hand on his shoulder, trying to get him to relax. “If you promise to never bring this up again. We’ll promise to never bring it up again. Okay?” 

Barry ran his hand through his hair, nodding. He didn’t have much choice. 

Cisco stormed off. Caitlin stayed behind, watching him go. She toyed with her new ring, giving Barry a knowing look. “I’m sorry about the no-baby,” she told him softly. “And I know we haven’t had any giant meta threat to keep you busy like usual, but you need to find something else to obsess over. It’s not a game. It’s our lives.” 

“Fine. Fine!” said Barry. “I’ll back off. But only if you tell me this one thing.” 

“...What thing?” 

“Tell me you don’t want Cisco. Tell me that this vacation alone with him in Nevada didn’t make you think about it. The ring aside, the radiant smile on your face in that picture Cisco sent Sue...It was real, Caitlin. You know it was.” 

Caitlin’s jaw ticked as she crossed her arms tightly. “I don’t want Cisco, Barry."  She was lying through her teeth.

~.~ 

They waited a month before their next meeting, but they decided to start exactly where they had left. 

Ralph erased the whiteboard to write the next plan. The plan they should’ve taken into consideration from the beginning. 

Iris leaned against the counter of the lounge, challenging anyone to dare say otherwise, “We need Frost on our side.” 


End file.
